A public statement from the Psyche Corporation

Strange rumblings have come from the Psyche Corporation executive board.  As some of you may know, the musical group known as “Psyche Corporation” is merely a small PR initiative sent into your present from a larger dream-manufacture corporation based in a future which does not yet exist.  However, we do, on occasion, receive memoranda from the Corporation proper.

The presence of Psyche Corporation music in your time period was originally calculated to have only mild psychological effects on future generations, but it turns out that we have created enough of a ripple into the future that it is starting to upset prediction models.  This risks fully 1% of the Corporation’s market share on certain planets several thousand years from now.  In case you don’t realize how much money that is, let us assure you, it is more than any nation of Earth can currently generate in 20 years.

Drastic changes are called for.

Item one:

The original PR front-woman for the Psyche Corporation early subliminal marketing initiative has been dismissed.  It is the unfortunate truth that her dedication to the Initiative was always questionable, on account of all the time she was spending within the dream-design hardware R&D department, a department in which she has never been qualified to work, despite her wild claims.  We will not discuss her name anymore. 

She has been replaced by Psyche Chimère, a senior marketing associate from within the greater Corporation.  Psyche Chimère’s background lies extensively in economic models, markets, and future-branding.

Psyche Chimère is not a medical scientist.

Item two:

We at the Corporation, and Psyche Chimère in particular, respectfully request that the rumors of a medical scientist being part of what is a plain and simple marketing and brand loyalty initiative, be stoppedWe appreciate the importance of medical scientists in your society, especially given that you have not yet undergone the nanite revolution.  However, medical scientists have no place in our marketing initiative.  We are in the business of music and marketshare.  We are not here to make insightful statements about diseases or biological mysteries present in your world.

Please treat all interviews and articles on Psyche Corporation referring to any scientist members, neurology students, or molecular engineers as heresyIf you have written such an article, please accept our apologies on behalf of our former front-woman for causing such confusion in the first place.  The former front-woman and Psyche Chimère do bear some vague racial resemblances, and so it is understandable that rumors might surface about Ms. Chimère that rightfully belong to her predecessor. 

 

Item three:

The divisions of Psyche Corporation are shifting.  We are finding out that butterfly effects of one or two of our YouTube videos on the official channel ended up causing small civil wars and the election of an unqualified narwhal to political office, several hundred years into the future.  As such, select videos have become a controversial matter for our executive board in the future.  Therefore we have privatized them on our YouTube channel.  However, it turns out that merely watching the videos is perfectly fine.  Something about the videos being on our particular YouTube channel is the key factor causing these events.  So do not panic.  We are simply trying to avoid creating conditions known in the future to lead to a devastating intergalactic turf war over tree goats.

 

 

 

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